It took me years to figure out my wheat allergy. I am allergic to the actual wheat and not the gluten. For me the more whole the grain is the worse my reaction. Conversely, the more processed (like wonder bread) the less I react.

I eat spelt bread. The rice bread is awful! When I bake (and I bake a lot) I substitute all purpose flour for oat flour. All that is in it is oats. It bakes pretty well and most people either don't notice a difference or actually think it is better. I make a lot of muffins and that usually satisfies a bread craving.

To tell if you are allergic to gluten or the actual grain, I would recomend a 6 week fast from grains all together. Then you can try a wheat without gluten (it can be found) and then try gluten without wheat. You will likely react to one of them. With a 6 week fast from grains, you will have flushed the allergen out of the system and then you will have a stronger reaction to a smaller amount when it is reintroduced and you will know for certain.

Best wishes!